Monday, August 15, 2011

Marvel Comics: Douchebags

I think we all know that deep down inside I love Marvel comics as much as the next guy. They've really been doing some things I have completely loved lately but it all seems to be on the big screen. Everything I here coming from their comics (and core) division seems to be just one cheap ass marketing gimmick after another. From the ethnically diverse new Ulitmate Spiderman to "killing" off the Human Torch. Now Marvel comics is taking the douche baggery to the next level by not only implementing cheap marketing tactics but the censorship and destruction of literature as well.

More after the jump.

So Marvel is offering a variant cover of "Fear Itself #6" by artist Ed McGuinness to retailers. Woohoo variant covers that probably aren't going to be worth shit one day but whatever. The stupid douche baggery comes in is for retailers to get this variant cover issue they have to rip the cover off 50 comics from a special group of titles selected by Marvel.  The group of comics?  They all just happen to be all of the DC comics Flash Point issues (Read the whole letter at Comics Beat here).

So there it is. Destroy a work of art and literature, take it out of the hands of someone that might enjoy it for whatever reason one day, and we'll give you a "special edition" hunk of shit you might sell for way to much to that one obsessive compulsive asshole who comes into you're shop that you can't stand but floats most of your business. Sounds kind of villainous doesn't it?  Oh yeah! Marvel was bought out by Disney. I'm sure we all know that Disney has become a money grubbing multinational corporation that have perfected child exploitation to the point where they can now take everything that was once special in someone's childhood and wring every last drop of money out of it until it is nothing but a former shell of what once made it special.

There once was a time Disney didn't do sequels.

But the dickery is just a part of corporate profit life that we all deal with in this day and age. I suppose what it isreally enraging here is that they are using censorship as a form of marketing. Maybe this isn't censorship to the degree of suppression of speech or the burning of books but make no mistake this is still the destruction of a work of art.  Destruction of a work of art for profit to make it all the more dastardly. You can wrap it in a blanket of "unsold" books or however they want to spin it but you could have said take a picture of you delivering 50 of these comics to an orphanage or something. Destroying work, even if it is the competitions, is taking it out of a persons hand for the sake of them not reading it. Censorship.

Not this bad. But Still... cmon

So I'm sure there's some dip shit in some marketing department somewhere feeling good about themselves. In reality they need to be slapped in the face.  Comics are a dying medium. Let's just face it they are. At this point anyone involved in the industry be it Marvel, DC, Image, or just us fans gotta all look at each other and say "We are all in this together." Taking a comic, any comic, out of someone's hand only hurts the industry as a whole. Anyone who's ever had a list at a comic shop knows that it tends to grow pretty fast and only good stories are what makes a purchase not who published it. This us versus them cut throat attitude of ignorance to the greater good needs to keep itself in politics.

Pictured: Ignorance

So stop it Marvel. I can't quite stop seeing your movies because they have been pretty damn good lately. You need to overcome your douche baggery and see the comic industry as a sum of its whole. People can love both Batman and Spiderman, Superman and Captain America. One leads to the other. Dumb shit marketing ploys based on fuckery and censorship do you no good. Be the hero, not the villain.That should be simple enough for you to understand.

Oh yeah what does that super awesome sure to be rare much sought after epic variant cover look like?

BWAHAHA! Douche bags.


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